Blastfighter, Lamberto Bava (as John Old Jr.), 1984, USA (Italy)

Blastfighter, Lamberto Bava (as John Old Jr.), 1984, USA (Italy)

When you look at the majority of movies, the titles vary from good to bad, but usually have something to do with the plot, dialog, character names, or even locations. Blastfighter goes way beyond that. It is no spoiler to say that the “blastfighter” is a gun. We are introduced to this special gun about two minutes into the film. After that, we simply wait around for the blastfighter to be put to good use. There is no ambiguity, no baited breath suspense, just somewhat impatient waiting. The problem is that the title of the film IS the film. The plot is essentially Behold Blastfighter, Blast you Blastfighter, and Coup de Blastfighter. Did I just spoil the movie? No. I have only reiterated what the first five minutes will reveal anyhow. So, was Blastfighter any good? Well, in accordance with some random critic that they put on the DVD sleeve, it is “one of the best action movies of the 80’s!” So, there is that. I am unsure of whether that particular critic had seen any other action movie from the 80’s at all, but hey, maybe?

The cinematography is OK. I wasn’t effected by it much good or bad, except for the parts that were a bit too dark, but that only happened during the climax, not during a part that mattered!The directing… Well, riddle me this: Why would a director choose a stage name instead of his/her own name while making “The best film of their career,” in accordance with Quentin Tarantino? I am going to venture to guess that it is because at least in the directors eyes, it was not actually his best work ever! The editing (along with directing) had two big issues. One was that the film seemed to repeat itself thematically over and over. Escaping into the wilderness… Escaping into the wilderness again, oh, and again… Exploding car, exploding car… exploding car… I am not sure how many cars explode in this film, but Michael Bay would be proud! Then the tone. Left alone, the tone was actually relatively even. But if we accidentally think for just one second about it, then it becomes problematic. Consider hootin’ and hollerin’ hillbillies a huntin’ and chillin’. Then consider those same hillbillies hootin’, hollerin’, and huntin’ HUMANS! All the while joking with each other, even after they become the hunted!? There is simply something very very wrong with this idea. Oddly enough, the acting in itself wasn’t completely horrible, in fact, pretty straightforward for the most part. The story was about a good man in various unjust situations. It also involved friends and family and how they all interrelated. It is also a moral dilemma about right and wrong. All of which are big problems for this film because guns (the blastfighter) don’t care about any of that! They just want to be used in spectacular fashion. Ultimately that is precisely where the movie goes wrong. The audience simply wants to see the real main character, “The Blastfighter,” in action. All the rest is sort of dull and frankly a bit off color. This is a bad movie with a couple of half interesting moments. Thus I rate this film 1 ½ stars for being just over the truly bad line and in that questionable zone in between.

This movie is quite non-sexual. There is an interrupted rape scene, interrupted way before anything exploitative happens, and there is a killing of a woman in lingerie that seems to be the requisite; Subparagraph C: All Italian films of the 80’s must have at least one killing of a woman in some sort of lingerie in order to be considered in the group “Italian movies from the 80’s.” Other than that, mainly a bunch of dudes running around in the woods shootin’ stuff! 0 on the kink scale.

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